Cornell, The land I will never return to...

When I was a kid I used to play with Play-doh. I'm sure you kids did too. I remember my first set came with all the colors my mom could afford: blue, orange, green and purple. And for a while, it was fun, molding it into the same crappy dinosaur/bird/car/"its a dog, but its legs fell off." The legs always fall off. After that first ten minutes though, you get bored and you find new things to do with your play-doh. Play-doh, so bright and colorful, like candy. So soft and squishy, like candy. I remember taking a piece of blue, because it was going to taste like blue, rolling it into a ball and slipping it into my mouth. The taste was awful, bland and salty. Mistake.

Being in Cornell is like eating play-doh. Really, it's a nice place to look at but it's as interesting and engaging as this leaf here.

As a result of this bland boredom, Cornelians find new ways to entertain themselves, with "hang-over" results. I had the displeasure of spending a weekend with a few members from the Cornell wrestling team: Charlie, DiSolvo, Keith, Luke, and Josh. These kids are a different breed. Sure they play the same drinking games we do (flip cup, Beirut) but that's not enough.

We played Chicken Leg the first night out. In this game, one guy chooses another guy at random and grabs on to his leg. The "chicken" will then have to continue the night with player in tow. The game ends when the "chicken" gets really angry and starts beating on the player, in which case, the rest of the team rushes in and beats down on the chicken. Laughter and applause follows. Charlie won when he rode his chicken for a good hour and a half before the beatdown. I chose not to play.

Drinking as well has become too simple and new forms have arisen. Eyeball shots are the most extreme form of alcohol ingestion I have ever seen. The belief is that one gets drunker faster if one holds a shot of vodka or any other high quality liquor to their eye. To some extent its true. The eye is the only external organ connected directly to the brain. Anyways the process involves a lot of screaming and cursing. I chose not to drink.

Overall, I'm thankful for my trip to Cornell, because I never have to go back there again. My sister graduated so really there is no reason to return.